


Tiger Woods Y’all, It’s All Good Y’all

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Thicker than Water [14]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2432081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“They’re gonna be tigers?” Garcia asked.  “Well you shoulda said so earlier.  When do the tigers show up?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tiger Woods Y’all, It’s All Good Y’all

**Author's Note:**

> This story is told in the Thicker than Water universe, where the BAU members are kids and teens, and was written for the alphabet meme and [](http://kosmickway.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://kosmickway.livejournal.com/)**kosmickway** ’s prompt of **T is for Tiger**. I wasn’t sure I would be able to come up with something for it but here you go. The title comes from the Chris Rock song, _There’s No Sex in the Champagne Room_. Yeah, I’m serious.

“This is boring.” Penelope said, putting her face in her hands as she looked at the TV.

“Penelope, I love you to pieces but you're nuts.” Morgan replied. “This is not boring. This is about to be captivating television.”

“Um…no, its not.” She shook her head. “It’s just balls and sticks really. Wrestling is more fun.”

“Wrestling?” Morgan looked at her with wide eyes. “You really just said wrestling was more fun. Oh my God…that’s sacrilege.”

“Baseball is just balls and sticks.” Hotch replied. “No offense to those who love baseball. But this, Penelope, takes a level of skill and athleticism reached by very few individuals.”

“Huh? They’re walking around in a park with holes in it.” She was unimpressed.

“I gotta agree with Garcia.” JJ said. “I feel like this has been on for a million hours and nothing’s happening. There are no home runs, no dunks, no fights…it’s boring.”

“You guys are lame.” Morgan flagged them away. “Even if it does suck, and it doesn’t, I'm watching for Tiger.”

“They’re gonna be tigers?” Garcia asked, perking up. “Well you shoulda said so earlier. When do the tigers show up?”

“And are the tigers gonna eat these dudes?” JJ asked. “Cuz if not, I'm outtie.”

“JJ…” Hotch warned.

“What? You cannot deny the awesomeness of that. I’d prefer ligers, yeah, let some ligers loose and see who can survive the twisted carnage. Did you know they can grow up to 12 feet tall and weigh like a thousand pounds?”

“You're so weird.” Morgan grinned. “I love that about you.”

“Thank you.”

“Morgan doesn’t mean real tigers, Penelope; he means Tiger Woods.” Hotch said.

“Who?” Penelope asked.

“He’s only gonna be the greatest golfer who ever lived.” Morgan replied. “You mark my words…I'm rarely wrong about these things.”

“He just went pro five minutes ago.” Hotch replied.

“But he was the best amateur in the country two years in a row. He left the Ivy League for golf, man. Who would do that if they weren't the best?”

“I have two words for you…Ki-Jana Carter.”

“For real, Hotch? I can't believe you actually went there. And for the record, Penn State isn’t Ivy League.”

“Semantics.” Hotch said.

“Um, hello.” JJ waved her hand in front of them. “Can we get back to this Tiger Woods dude? I've never heard of him.”

“He’s new.” Hotch said. “But he’s damn good. I'm not ready to lay all my money on him like Morgan is but he’s good.”

“He’s Masters good.” Morgan added. “These old dudes are shaking in their shoes. Not only are the young folks about to take over golf, the brothers are.”

“What brothers?” Penelope asked. “Do you mean like The Doobie Brothers, the Brothers Johnson…ooh maybe The Smothers Brothers?”

JJ giggled, looking at the ten year old. She could only shake her head; Penelope was awesome.

“Not those brothers, Penelope.” Morgan replied. “I mean the brothers.” He held up his fist like the Black Panthers.

“Really? Did I ever tell you that my dad knew some Black Panthers? They were nice.”

“This doesn’t surprise me.” Derek said. “Hippies know everybody.”

“Tiger Woods is totally not a Black Panther.” Hotch said. “And we’ll see how good he is today. This is the big leagues.”

“Color me unimpressed.” JJ rolled his eyes.

“Alright guys, lets stop talking and watch some TV.” Hotch said.

“Lets not.” JJ replied. “C'mon Penelope, lets go in our room and play.”

“Yeah.” she got up from the couch. “Morgan, call me when the tigers come on.”

“You got it, baby girl.”

***

  



End file.
